Will anyone read this? I wouldn’t blame you, or be angry, if not. But I’m attempting to get back into the game. So here goes: a few poems written in the past months
“A Secret”
The one reason I never gave.
My hopeful mind closed by reproach.
Sometimes I think
it was your willingness
to forgive anything
that lead me to never tell you.
“First Lap Dance”
There are no words
for knowing a person
however intimately
I loved once
like hell
burning for another
body, bloody and chock
full of human
emotion
but a dancer
like the seraphim
gives you none
she does and doesn’t
know you’re scared
she does things
you’ll never remember
she whispers “thanks honey”
you slip the five
where it goes
to those who ask
I say it felt dirty
but it wasn’t
I don’t think much
about her,
nor she me
I imagine
It took me long enough to get around to reading this, but I’m certainly glad I did.
In “First Lap Dance,” I like the last stanza the best, the honesty of it. The detail of “thanks honey” is great, as well, and even if it’s a fabricated detail, it seems real. Try cutting the first stanza and “like a seraphim,” and see how you feel about it. If there’s anything dragging it down, it’s those few lines.
As for “A Secret,” the last four lines are great – not to say the first two aren’t, but I’m not quite sure what’s going on there. That said, it’s a terribly tantalizing poem, and leaves the reader (you know, ME) wanting to know more!
I’m glad you’re writing again. I look forward to seeing more.